Dance like you have to

I haven't posted on here in a very long time. From the look of things its been 8 months. Thats a long time not to chat to my non existent online readers. Its been an odd 8 months. I wrote a show that I have now taken to the Montreal Fringe. I have only ever been to Montreal once before so it has been an eye opening experience. The staff here has made this city so welcoming and has been such a great help in getting the word about my show out to a city of people that I don't know. So far I have yet to have good Poutine. 2 strikes so far montreal! I think a lot of comedic performers share the same experience with me in that your on-stage persona is far more confident than your off stage reality and so when you meet people they are often surprised, and I often fear disappointed, that you aren't that balls to the wall 24/7 funny person. The idea of handing out my flyers to people and trying to pitch my show to strangers honestly scares the crap out of me haha. People of Montreal seem to be enjoying the show. I have had record crowds and wonderful reviews. This is not the festival the I was prepped for. Everybody said the audiences would be low but that I would have fun. I have seen many shows, Tinfoil Dinosaur being one of them that I think are better than mine so I don't understand why more people are seeing my show than his. I loved his show. I appreciate sincere sweet honesty and Sam Mullins has it in spades. Plus he's handsome, charming, and funny. Cant beat that. AND the guy can make a dinosaur out of tinfoil. Skills people! SKILLS Anybody who knows me will already know that my mom, June, passed away unexpectedly in November of last year and that it has been a bit of a hard time. I am a self admitted mama's boy and so it hit me fairly hard. Since the day that it happened I haven't cried over it. Ive wanted to several times but my body just doesn't. People always ask how I'm doing and honestly I'm okay and the moments that are bad I don't see coming. It took me a bit to get over landing in a new city and not calling her to tell her i got in okay. It took me a bit to get over not seeing her at the back of the theatre. What hits the most is what she will miss. Im sad when I think that she won't see me have children or become a dad. And that my children won't have her in their lives. My mother was no queen, but she was a good mother. I think most importantly she was my friend. I understood that she was a real person from pretty early on. A person with flaws and strengths just like anybody. She had a wonderful combo of fragility as a woman and a person mixed with the unending strength of a mother. When I left the hospital in the late hours of November 18th I knew that I would never see her again. I let her know that it would be okay and that we would be okay with out her and she didn't need to worry. I talked to my mother and held her hand. I didn't cry and I wasn't over whelmed with emotion. I thanked her for everything. I don't think that I have become much of a man but any good qualities I have, I have because of her. She raised me on her own and I couldn't be more grateful. When we left the hospital and I got in the car I cried. Not because I would lose my mother and my friend but because I wish that she had done everything she had wanted to. I wished that she had written her play she always wanted to. I wish that she had travelled to the places that she wanted to and I wish that she hadn't been so afraid. I have always been afraid of things. Afraid to ride a roller coaster, afraid to dance, afraid to put myself in front of a new crowd in a new city because hey... they might not like me that much. Well this city does. And I have recently discovered that roller coasters are amazing! If I can take anything away from how I felt that night 8 months ago its that when you are done, there is no time to go back and fix things before you go. So its time to not be afraid anymore, its time to take the risk, its time to see the world, and even though it makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little... I think its about time to start dancing.

October 20 - Whistle Down The WInd

Hello blog,

Today I am writing out of boredom. I stopped writing on this blog a while ago because I was writing a show, and turns out I cant think of separate funny things at one time. So here we are. I am weeks away from my one year anniversary of moving to Toronto. Its been nice. I have really enjoyed living here. As I have said before, I dont love it in Toronto, but its where I live right now.

I went down to buy tickets to Rigoletto for tonight and the guy in line in front of me was reading the bible. I dont know if its because of my atheistic beliefs that it seemed strange, but isnt it kinda odd? I mean... is that something you read in public now? I always kind of assumed it was like Playboy. You have a copy your dad gave you, you keep it by your bed, and every once in a while you pull it out for a read to feel something on the inside. no? Im not saying bibles need to be sold in a paper bags from poorly lit stores that are open 24 hours. Technically Im not saying anything i suppose... just expressing a feeling. To me reading the bible in public is like paying to take a mechanics course on how to fix a cloud car powered by rainbows... it costs you a bit of money, takes up a bit of time, and at the end... nobody cares what you have learned.

I am planning to tour next year. It should be fun. Right now its waiting to find out if i got into the festivals. I will know most of them by the end of the year, but its so frustrating to apply and then wait. I cant plan my next year, i have to live in a limbo zone of maybe and hope. Its no fun, but if it goes well, then i suppose limbo was a good place to be. I wrote a one man show called "God Is A Scottish Drag Queen". I premiered it just this summer and it got some great reviews and some good reactions. Something that I always get a giggle out of is how impressed people are by the 'improv' nature of the show. The show is written. Rarely do i go off script but the idea is to make it appear that I am. I always feel like when you go see a comedy show you want to feel that you are the first person to hear those jokes and that its not Material and planned out. I do leave a portion of the show open to improv, but its great when folks think the whole thing is. A few summers ago I did a show called War Of 1812 which is 95% written, but with 4 comics you always have that small margin for extra. It use to make one of the writers so mad when reviews would say OH WOW ITS SO GREAT THAT THEY IMPROV THIS. I always thought it was cute. Wow. I am rambling away.

I dont think I have much more to say. I just thought it would be fun. OH! a girl that is in the same room as me is whistling. Whistling is very abrasive. Its like coming into a room and saying STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING! I HAVE A DITTY! You cant do anything while somebody whistles. You cant focus, you cant watch tv, listen to music, read a book. Just listen to them. And its never a good song! YES I LIKE PINA COLADAS! NO I DONT LIKE THEM WHISTLED OFF KEY! Ever talk to somebody and their nose is whistling and they dont know it? I find when that happens all I do is just stare aimlessly at their nose. As if my glare will somehow force free the poorly angled booger that is making this person a life size penny whistle.

I am clearly just talking about nothing now

Good day.

July 6 - Hello Old Friend

So Its been a while my dear internet friends.

I have not blogged in almost 5 months.

When I stopped several months ago, I was in the middle of writing a solo comedy show. I found it hard to put together, and i discovered that when I wasnt trying to be funny on here, I had more jokes and energy to put into the show.

I did the show in May of this year, and it went okay. I am often never really that happy with my shows or my performances. I dont know if its being a perfectionist or if its just the life of a comic who listens to the crowd and says, OH! That joke can be better... oh that punchline needs to come earlier etc etc etc. Always growing always changing and in order to do that I guess I am more critical that I sometimes should be. I had fun though. I got to go back to Victoria BC for the show and perform in front of my favorite audience.

While I felt I needed to move away, I know that I will take any opportunity to return home. I love victoria. Im happy that I will get to go back with my all new and improved show. The goal is to take it on the road next year so I have tightened the show. Added some New moments, added some old, and subtracted the dull and the ramble. I think its better for it.

Since we last chatted I have Been to victoria, Quit a job, gotten a new job, and visited the wonderful city of New York for the very first time. Have you ever been some place before that the moment you arrive it is everything you had thought that it would be? All of Italy was like that for me. Especially Rome. And now NYC is as well. Exactly as I thought it would be. I will be honest and say that if the opportunity arose to ever live there I dont know if I could pack my bags fast enough.

So right now I am sitting in bed, my air conditioner blasting away, and starting my blog again. I have no idea if I will keep on with it. I can guarantee that I wont do it every day, but I do like to do it. Its a place where I can be very honest. Even if its just to strangers.

Thanks for reading and I promise I will blog again!... at somepoint.

Mellow Yellow... QUITE RIGHT

Can I just ask why people still follow the "if its yellow, let it mellow"? philosophy? I have never understood it. I mean... i GET it. Save water etc etc etc. But in a world of low flow toilets, why do people still do it? The thing i enjoy is, you are never surprised when a household does it. I have never been to a mansion or nice condo and seen that happen. Thats not the type... but I think we all know that if you are in a house that composts or saves coffee grounds... RED FLAG! There is a chance you may see an Oh Henry in Lemonade.

A good friend of mine plays a hippy and "earthy" character and his best line is "If its yellow, let it mellow. If its brown, scoop it up with your hands and put it in the compost". It always makes me laugh extremely hard.

I always forget about things to write about when I actually sit down to write. Every day I think and see things that I think.... OOO I should put that in my blog. I should get myself a little pad of paper or something. I would likely forget it at home. Thats how I work. Even with that, I dont understand the odd phrases like "If your head wasnt attached you'd loose it"... really? I doubt it! "If you were going any slower you would be going backwards" THAT DOESNT MAKE SENSE! You would stop.

I have been writing my new one man show and its going well. Cutting out bits, fixing some. etc etc. Its nice to work on it. Nothing like a 60 minute rant about whatever i like. Its as if its a dream come true. And I have news about that show but I wont be sharing it until this weekend. Why? You will see! CALM DOWN! RELAX!

I have a couch! thats exciting! Its black! Its actually a futon. but it means I dont need to sit on the floor like a hobo! Now I get to sit... i dunno... 8inches? Though lets be honest.... if a man estimates it at 8 inches it's likely closer to 4. lets be honest... Im sitting on the floor

I will end with this. Christina Aguilera sang the american national anthem at the super bowl. And got the words wrong... in front of 150 million americans... what was the worst thing that happened to you yesterday?

February 2 - Im Baaaaaack.

Hello folks! Have you missed me? I hope so! Welcome back and Im sorry to have been an absentee landlord. If i am gone, who will take up the torch to talk about mundane things in a slightly amusing manor? Probably any college age person who things what they say is gold... but dont tell them I said that. Not that it matters, they are likely to high to write anything worth reading.

So Im back. Why did I leave? Well I had a bit of a crisis of faith I suppose. As I have not been seeking much performing work and not missing it, I wondered if I should even bother. If I dont have the thirst for it... why should I? And If I dont want to act, then why do I have a blog about an actor trying to make it in Toronto. And Then I said two things. 1) Shut up and audition for something, and 2) When was the last time I said anything in this blog about acting? Anybody? Yea... I dont remember either!

Also in the past few days it has been non-stop since producing Amy's now hit song "Nerdy Girls Need Love Too". Today alone it went up 28,000 views on youtube and I couldn't be happier. Many people have asked if I am upset that amy's video has gotten so many more views than mine, and I am really not! I mean, YES I cry... but thats because I have dust in my eye... every time I watch youtube...

MY LAPTOP IS DUSTY OKAY!?!?!

But in reality I couldnt be happier! I produced, directed, and edited the video and the fact that I was able to offer a vehicle to amy's voice, guitar playing, and oh so pretty looks, is A-OKAY by me.

Tonight, Amy and I took ourselves to see the new Toronto production of "BILLY ELLIOT". Its a wonderful musical and a solid and entertaining production. The young boy who played Billy tonight was a real talent and got a deserving standing ovation. It didnt make me want to dance, and I didnt leave humming any of the songs from Elton Johns score, but I still had some laughs, some tears, and at the end of the day... I was standing with everybody else. AND... because Toronto is in the middle of a storm warning, lots of folks didnt show up so we went from okay seats to AMAZING seats. Bonus! Like it was meant to be.

Ever had a bad cupcake? Isnt that disappointing? And I mean just REALLY sad!? Not... small puppy with hiccups, but just bad day sad. There was a short lived place across from my last place of work that tasted terrible. How do you do that? Why would start a business if the only thing you sell is garbage!? Its why you dont see a lot of post-tornado motor homes for sale. Thats not a fixer-upper... thats a chuck it outer.

I am currently eating what I feel to be the best ice cream in the world. WE ARE WAFFLING by the good folks at Ben & Jerry. Its my favorite ice cream and I really like that in french it translates to "we are undecided". Good times

Thanks for reading.