So here we are. I would like to inform you all of a little secret. For those of you who have read my blog more than once I will simply say that... what I am about it say may not come as a shock. I am not a great speller. I KNOW! Its hard to believe! What you dont know is that the poor spelling I miss is actually spelling that has made it through an immense amount of spell check. But I will tell you today... friends... followers... people who accidentally came upon this... I dont know where the spell check is on the updated version of blogspot. I KNOW I should have ignored the up date. If its not baroque dont fix it! And if you dont realize that that is not a spelling mistake but simply a wonderful reference to an academy award winning film then you shouldnt be reading this blog!
So, since I dont pre plan what I am going to write I will simply pre apologize for my spelling as it may take a turn for the worst until I figure out where the button is. I will be honest... even now at only paragraph 2... my page is covered in small red lines. Thats not a good sign people... not good at all!
I would like to talk about stress. Right now I have a great deal of stress in my life to the point that it is starting to flow over into everything. I try and de stress by listening to music, watching movies, and just basically trying to not let it fill my mind. As of right now, I dont have a place to live. I look on every website, I email and call people all the time. So far I have had no luck. None at all. As the stress levels increase I need to remind myself that I have to calm down and focus otherwise I will make needless mistakes. I also have 2 auditions coming up. 1 is one that I can take or leave. The other one is very important to me. The other day I said that I wouldnt tell you what the auditions were until after, and that is still the case, but I wanted to you to know how nervous I am.
Today I got an email from a man who I contacted about renting his apartment. It is downtown and fairly affordable. I asked why it was. He told me basically that he was a counselor and had to move for work, and because of the location he wanted to keep the place. He kept it low because he wasnt wanting to make money off it, just have good tenants who will care for the place. And then it happened. A word that sends up the biggest red flag I can think of. Where had he moved to that he couldnt meet with me to show me the place? Why NIGERIA of course! He said I was welcome to go and look at the place from the outside, and then if I was interested I could fill out the form and he would courier the keys to me. HOW SWEET OF HIM. I think its the same guy who 2 years ago was actually a price. He sent me an email saying that if I let him keep money in my accounts he would pay me an even million dollars. What? He emailed you too? WHAT!?!?! So... are you telling me I might NOT get to live in the $800 per month furnished apartment in downtown Toronto that belongs to a Nigerian prince? DAMNIT! I had such high hopes.
Tomorrow I perform with a really funny show. Friends of mine have taken the time out of their day to invite people to the show, which is nice. Im looking forward to seeing how my characters do in a new city. Will they be funny? will people hate it? From what I have seen in my time watching improv, sketch, and comedy in Toronto is that I am no where near as bad as the worst guy... and right now... thats what I am looking for. I dont need to be the best yet... but I do need to be better than the worst.
The diet is going well people. Turns out high stress in conducive to weight loss. Who would have guessed!? From what I can tell from the small scale in my room and the pain in my stomach from crunches is that I am nearing my goal weight closer and closer every day. When I looked today it appeared that I am down about 23lbs, which for me is great. I knew once I stopped eating like a fatty that the weight would drop a lot and fast, and now I am prepared for the slow loss now. I am prepared and will not mourn its loss. I may have a funeral for it.. and to be honest... FUCK I hope its catered by Hagen Daaz. Is that wrong? it feels like that should be wrong.
So tomorrow morning to go and see yet another apartment. Hopefully this one isnt a tiny shit heap at a high price. Thats all I ask! Not an expensive shit heap in the middle of nowhere! Gosh Im needy. He mike what kind of car do you want? Ummmm one that doesnt break down? WOAH! needy much?
Anyways, since I must to the world of apartments in the A.M. I shall be off. I apologize that this blog came late yet again. What was I doing? Something busy or important? Nope.. watching season 2 of Big Bang Theory. Thats all. Sorry for the delay.
Tomorrow I shall tell you all about tomorrows performance. Wish me luck!
Thanks for reading!
Mike
Showing posts with label national theatre of the world. Show all posts
Showing posts with label national theatre of the world. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
December 6 - Urinal Mistakes
So tonight I went out to see a comedy show and it was just terrible. The host was a lazy unfunny "comedian" who dragged everybody down with him and lost the audience from his first five minutes. From my time in comedy I have learned a few thing. I certainly dont know it all, far from it actually, but I do know that if the audience isnt laughing... yea... maybe the are having a bad night, but 9 times out of 10... its because your bits arent funny. Even when this guy flipped into his self proclaimed "golden material" it was stuff I had heard before from him a few weeks ago and people didnt laugh then either. Next week will be the 3rd times this guy has performed at this club in 5 weeks. Thats fucking bullshit! BULLSHIT.
The first big character that I ever created was a lounge lizard named Jimmy Peekaboo. A poorly dressed offensive comedian with a contageous laugh. I based him mainly on 2 people. One is a man who hosted an improv show. He inspired the outfit and the laugh. He wore a pair of black jeans, a plaid shirt and then seemed to think that a tux jacket and a clip on tie would make it a suit. I loved it. Secondly was this woman who hosted a fundraiser I attended in vancouver in november of 06 I believe. This woman had no material to fill between the acts. she would tell a few jokes but you really need to be aware of whats going on and read an audience. When she thought she was loosing them she would tell the story about how her and her girlfriend met and got engaged, which wasnt funny. When people got bored and started talking to each other instead of listening to her she would yell at them to SHUT UP!... I couldnt believe it. It was AMAZING that somebody would do that! And so my first popular character was born. Some people love him, some people hate him. No matter what... he was funnier than the guy tonight HANDS DOWN.
On the note of poor hosts I would like to publicly support a friend of mine who I believe is a wonderful host. Dave Morris is a kind, inviting, and supportive host and, with ease it seems, tries to get the audience as far onto your side as he can. When I host I try to keep the show going and throw in a bit of funny here and there. Sometimes it works. Dave Morris For Mayor. Make it happen world.
Today I went and viewed an apartment and I had such high hopes and when I walked in I was just dissapointed. In most cities in canada I think this apartment MIGHT go for 900? its a 1 bedroom close to downtown. But it was 1350. It was just so small. Kind of like a kitchen with 2 bedrooms, no actuall flow or feel of an invitation. just boxed in and closed off. I realize that with only a few weeks left to find a place I cant afford to be picky. But I feel that for almost 1400 a month, i should be happy about a place. I suppose we shall see.
I am performing this Wednesday at a local comedy show in Toronto. Im a big fan of the guys involved and it will be nice to share the stage with them. I have worked really hard to try and fill and or invite some very influential people in town and I really hope that it works out. It would be wonderful for it to be a stepping stone. I have 2 auditions this week. 1 is HUGE for me and 1 seems like it will be fun. I will tell you more about them after they happen, I dont like to talk about auditions before hand. Basically if you know i didnt get something it looks bad. If you had no idea there was something even on the table... then YAY!
It snowed for the first real time this morning. It has snowed here before, but it didnt stick. Today the snow stuck. I dont really mind snow. Your feet get a little wet, but you can manage. Wind on the other hand is the rath of the damned. It hurts! I hate it. apparently in february with the wind chill Toronto can feel like -30! WONDERFUL! Cant fucking wait!
Tonight, at the club, I went to the bathroom. When I entered the washroom i saw that beside the stall were 2 urinals. There was a man in the stall and a man at the first urinal, which meant that if I wanted to get to the second urinal, i was going to have to try and get by the first man. I had a choice of going bum to bum, or crotch to bum as i squeezed by him trying not to accidentally touch a stranger while he peed. I opted for crotch to bum as I felt id have more visual control on the distance between my body and his. I was wrong people. Looking back I can imagine that it looked and felt as though, to him, I stood behind him, rubbed my crotch gently against his ass and then moved on. I will admit that I had to fight the urge to rub his shoulders and awkwardly smell his hair, but avoided it. It was no time for Delamont comedy. He and I didnt make eye contact for the rest of the night.
I work 11 hours tomorrow. I shall wish you good night!
Good night!
Mike
The first big character that I ever created was a lounge lizard named Jimmy Peekaboo. A poorly dressed offensive comedian with a contageous laugh. I based him mainly on 2 people. One is a man who hosted an improv show. He inspired the outfit and the laugh. He wore a pair of black jeans, a plaid shirt and then seemed to think that a tux jacket and a clip on tie would make it a suit. I loved it. Secondly was this woman who hosted a fundraiser I attended in vancouver in november of 06 I believe. This woman had no material to fill between the acts. she would tell a few jokes but you really need to be aware of whats going on and read an audience. When she thought she was loosing them she would tell the story about how her and her girlfriend met and got engaged, which wasnt funny. When people got bored and started talking to each other instead of listening to her she would yell at them to SHUT UP!... I couldnt believe it. It was AMAZING that somebody would do that! And so my first popular character was born. Some people love him, some people hate him. No matter what... he was funnier than the guy tonight HANDS DOWN.
On the note of poor hosts I would like to publicly support a friend of mine who I believe is a wonderful host. Dave Morris is a kind, inviting, and supportive host and, with ease it seems, tries to get the audience as far onto your side as he can. When I host I try to keep the show going and throw in a bit of funny here and there. Sometimes it works. Dave Morris For Mayor. Make it happen world.
Today I went and viewed an apartment and I had such high hopes and when I walked in I was just dissapointed. In most cities in canada I think this apartment MIGHT go for 900? its a 1 bedroom close to downtown. But it was 1350. It was just so small. Kind of like a kitchen with 2 bedrooms, no actuall flow or feel of an invitation. just boxed in and closed off. I realize that with only a few weeks left to find a place I cant afford to be picky. But I feel that for almost 1400 a month, i should be happy about a place. I suppose we shall see.
I am performing this Wednesday at a local comedy show in Toronto. Im a big fan of the guys involved and it will be nice to share the stage with them. I have worked really hard to try and fill and or invite some very influential people in town and I really hope that it works out. It would be wonderful for it to be a stepping stone. I have 2 auditions this week. 1 is HUGE for me and 1 seems like it will be fun. I will tell you more about them after they happen, I dont like to talk about auditions before hand. Basically if you know i didnt get something it looks bad. If you had no idea there was something even on the table... then YAY!
It snowed for the first real time this morning. It has snowed here before, but it didnt stick. Today the snow stuck. I dont really mind snow. Your feet get a little wet, but you can manage. Wind on the other hand is the rath of the damned. It hurts! I hate it. apparently in february with the wind chill Toronto can feel like -30! WONDERFUL! Cant fucking wait!
Tonight, at the club, I went to the bathroom. When I entered the washroom i saw that beside the stall were 2 urinals. There was a man in the stall and a man at the first urinal, which meant that if I wanted to get to the second urinal, i was going to have to try and get by the first man. I had a choice of going bum to bum, or crotch to bum as i squeezed by him trying not to accidentally touch a stranger while he peed. I opted for crotch to bum as I felt id have more visual control on the distance between my body and his. I was wrong people. Looking back I can imagine that it looked and felt as though, to him, I stood behind him, rubbed my crotch gently against his ass and then moved on. I will admit that I had to fight the urge to rub his shoulders and awkwardly smell his hair, but avoided it. It was no time for Delamont comedy. He and I didnt make eye contact for the rest of the night.
I work 11 hours tomorrow. I shall wish you good night!
Good night!
Mike
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