November 20 - Jews and Christmas

Welcome back and happy saturday to you one and all.

I will start by saying that I normally try to get my blog out in the early evening Toronto Time, or mid afternoon for those avid readers in the west. A part of me thinks i should write it at night and then just post it early in the morning so people can read it whenever they like... like a newspaper. I opted to say newspaper because i feel that my reader numbers sadly resemble those of the newspaper industry. Well... mine is low for a newspaper... not really for a blog. I have now said (including this one) newspaper 5 times. I think we should move on. The point of all that was to say that I am writing today's later than i normally do.

On November 3rd I met a performer named Michael O'hara (perhaps O'Hare). He sang a song at a cabaret that i went to and was just wonderful. Had a full tenor voice with great control. I think for me, singers that i really enjoy are ones that I can trust. I know they wont crack, i know they wont screw up and I can sit there and enjoy. He was an amazing singer, one of the best I have seen live. Great Broadway sound with being "Broadway. (for those non theatre folks, I know you dont know what that last sentence meant... but trust me, its a good thing and, also, all of the theatre people know EXACTLY what I mean). Anyway, after meeting him he told me about a show he had coming up on the 20th, which i decided I would go to. It was in a "club" in Toronto which, despite the websites description, turned out to actually be a restaurant. So if you didnt go early with friends to have dinner and then stay, well there was basically no seating available. I happened to snag a stool at the bar, but that leaded to the discomfort of the fact that the bar ran perpendicular to the stage, so everybody sitting there had to try and look over or beside the head of the person in front of them. This would have been a manageable task had the person in front of me not moved around like a crack head trying to combine watching the show, sipping his drink, and chatting loudly with his friends. By the time intermission came around I was so fed up and my butt was so sore that I said time to go.

SIDE STORY: One of the songs tonight was sung by a woman introduced as a Yiddish diva. She sang a holiday song and a peter paul and mary song, both in Yiddish. She was quite good. The woman beside me was chatting with her friends and informed them that Yiddish is actually a form of German (correct) and that it was invented my Jewish factory workers (incorrect) so that their German bosses wouldn't know what they are saying (SO FUCKING INCORRECT IT HURTS MY BODY) When you were a kid, after your parents taught you Pig Latin, did you ever use it to say bad shit about them forgetting that they taught it to you? Same thing. I wont go into what is wrong with what she said. Maybe she was getting it mixed up with the popular tale of the history of capoera. Who knows. But wow. The fact that she hasn't died while brushing her teeth in the morning astounds me. Just saying.

MORE JEWS: Welcome to my extra jewish content portion of todays blog. Now... since the beginning of my time on this earth, I have always liked jewish people. No reason not to! Im not jewish but my foreskin is so thats a close bond as well. Also, If you didnt laugh at that you shouldnt be reading this blog. Tonight I walked by a jewish soft-serve frozen yogurt shop. 10 flavors that change every week. Marshmallow, cookies n cream, candy cane, chocolate, etc etc etc. ALL LOW or NON FAT! once you have filled your cup to it's desired amount, you throw on any toppings you like and then they weigh it. And its affordable! Kosher Soft serve at its very finest. I adore this place and i... and my waist line... are thankful to live a good long distance away from it. But if i am ever near it, you can bet your sweet ass Im going in!

When you were a kid do you remember the Santa Claus parade being in November? Didnt it all just blur together so it seemed like a week before christmas? I grew up in Cranbrook BC and when I was young, my dad was an owner of a Nissan dealership and so i got to ride in the Nissan "float" one Christmas throwing candy canes from a snowmobile (how much more small town Canada can you get!) and apparently we werent throwing it far enough (ie to the sidewalks) and the producer told us that we couldnt throw candy anymore as she worried we wouldnt throw it far enough and kids would get caught under the wheels of the trucks. First off.. I was 6. secondly i felt we threw them far enough, and if we werent, i feel we deserved another shot, and thirdly, if you get run over by a firetruck going 5 miles an hour... I say thats your ass.

So there we go.


Chat with you all tomorrow!

Mike


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