Tuesday, December 21, 2010

December 21 - Nasty and stupid... in a good way

Hello All,

Today’s blog I am afraid will be a little shorter than normal. I am laying in bed suffering from a massive headache due to exhaustion and stress. Working 11 hours a day is starting to get to me sadly. Who would have ever guessed? I have had a bunch of water and taken a pain killer so we shall see. Right now the brightness of the screen and the noise of the keys is slightly painful. Oh well. I know if I don’t do my blog for a day I will probably stop doing it. Im that way if I start to negotiate with myself.

I was thinking today that I have never really been a gross kind of guy. I have friends that are just real guys who emit fumes and noises to the delight of themselves and I haven’t really ever done that. One of my good friends has the loudest farts I have ever heard. It actually sounds like his ass is throwing up. Im not like that. I keep them to myself in the "shame cupboard" they came in. I also can’t belch. This is not to say I lack the ability to burp, that’s just gravity and gas, but I can’t do it on call or at any great volume. My girlfriend can. She can belch on command and like a dude. This is not the first or the last time she has shown me up.

I think it is our disgusting side and our stupidity that bring us together as a people. Who among us hasn’t tripped while walking down the street and turned it into a jog so strangers wouldn’t notice? Who among us hasn’t pleaded with a toilet to flush that final stubborn turd that just won’t go away? Who among us hadn’t walked into a glass door? Actually I haven’t walked into a glass door. I did once crawl into a glass door and I have no shame in telling you I feel that’s worse.

Today at work we had a potluck. Everybody brought in a little something and we gorged ourselves for hours. It was disgusting. It was like watching all of my hard weight loss work just go down the drain. Admittedly I don’t often eat like that, so I suppose once in a while is okay.

Well folks that’s about all I’ve got. I think if I stay and chat much more I may cry or throw up. I would rather not find out. Thanks so much for reading!

1 comment:

  1. gosh sweetie, thank you so very much for telling the world about my manly on command belches, I appreciate it ever so much ;p