January 15 - KEEP OFF THE GRASS

Does anybody know any poor fat people? Cause I am poor AND fat. Seems like a strange anomaly.

Though this blog will say the 15th of January, its a lie and I dont want you to believe it. I am writing this from my bed on Sunday January 16th at 1:20pm eastern time. I didnt blog last night but I am putting this one up as if I did. Dont tell my readers! I couldn't do it last night because my girlfriend and I got it a massive fight. She hit me. I hit her back. We swore and actually threw glasses. Our neighbors complained and we had the pleasure of meeting the capable and direct Toronto Police. After a stern talking to, seperate of one another, it seems they believe our story of not physically hurting each other, and they let us come home. It was a long and quiet subway ride home, and to be totally honest with you, if this whole thing wasnt a lie, I would probably never forget it.

In reality it got late and I got busy but GOSH that other excuse sounds so much better.

I have something I would like to openly chat about, but I will have to be vague. I cant be as open as I like because, well, this is the internet. I will say it in a fake story instead. I have a lawn. Its a pretty lawn. small, nice shrubs and very well taken care of. I like it a lot. Its very green. My neighbor has a lawn that isnt as nice. He much prefers mine. I want to tell him that if he spends as much time caring for his lawn that he does for mine it would blossom and grow and be a lovely place to enjoy with his family. I don't know how to fix it. I dont want to build a fence, as I like my neighbor, but I want him to use his yard for relaxing in the sun and not mine. Maybe i should get some plastic pink flamingos.

I watched 6 hours of documentaries at work yesterday. Yes its that slow! As some of my readers know, I am an avid fan of the "west" and what cowboys do. I am a fan of western films, and ranchers in general. For Christmas, my mother got me a box set of documentaries about the wild west. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid, Buffalo Bill Cody, Texas Rangers, and one called Spirit of Colorado: Cowboys. 3 of the 4 were fantastic! A little dated as the style of documentaries, thanks to Ken Burns, has changed since those movies were made some 15 years ago. The movies were great and informative and I learned a lot from them. My mom, and others, complains that I am a hard person to buy gifts for. I disagree. A movie, a book, a gift certificate and you will find me quite happy. The last of the 4 films, the spirit of colorado came across as more of a promo video for that state. Lots of sweeping arial shots, and little information. It was good though.

At one point in the final film they chased and roped steers. They chase them out of the shoots, jump on them, grab the horns and twist until the animal falls to the ground and then tie three of their legs together. They win buckles and money and such for skill and speed. The most entertaining thing about the whole event is the young cows face! "What the fuck was that? You didnt even say hello! You just chased me with 2 horses, jumped on my back, hurt my neck and threw me on the ground! What the shit!? You're an asshole! Why did you only tie three of my legs? ARE YOU LEAVING? HEY! ARE YOU LEAVING? yep he's leaving!! COULD YOU AT LEAST UNTIE ME? THERE ARE PEOPLE WATCHING! You know if you had taken the time to say "Hello, my name is steve, mind if I walk you out into the field and tie you up" and explained the situation I probably would have gone along with it! I get it! I saw BABE! ARE YOU COMING BACK? AWWWW you're a son of a bitch!"

Worth every penny!

Thanks for reading, sorry for the delay, and I will chat with you tonight!