Wednesday, January 19, 2011


Why is it that the people who are addicted to sending "forwards" always seems to get them the last?? Hey! Enjoy this joke thats 10 years old! Orange you glad I sent it? If you dont find that funny... Its you.

Time to dish. A friend of mine may or may not be having an affair with a multi millionaire married executive from one of the 15 largest companies in the world. Wanna know who? let the bidding begin! Lets just say that if you ever read a blog of mine that says "UGH! I got held up at customs because they wouldnt let my lunch of white rhino eyeball soup and panda liver be served on my jet" you will know that somebody won the bidding war!

When I was young my mom said that if I wanted to add a fun kids channel to our cable package then I had to agree to watch something adult as well like history or biography. Who would have guessed that almost 20 years later I would be addicted to history and biographies. I buy biographies even if I am currently reading a book. Currently: Stephen Fry. Next? Michael Cane and then Betty White. As I write this blog I am watching a biography on the Gucci family.

On the streetcar today a girl who was forced, due to crowding, right smack dab into my personal bubble. To complete the circle she was also talking on her phone. She was talking to, I'll assume, a boy and telling him all about a class project she had to do on a designer. All of the girls in the class wanted to do Chanel. Chanel has been over done. Its in movies and everything now, and when you say I love COCO, it now means you support Conan O'brien. Which I do. SO, this professor of hers has said NO COCO CHANEL. So she seemed to hit a stumbling point. Really? Nobody as sexy or as rich or what? What about Valentino? Valentino Garavani spends most of his time on his 152-ft yacht that contains original Picasso and Warhols. That man has seen more genitals than a public bathroom. Not interesting enough? TALKING POINT: Hugo Boss designed the Nazi Uniform. DISCUSS.

I met a person, face to face, today that had the same voice as the voice in the interrogation rooms. That distorted, low, voice. I thought it was a joke and then a realized...oh shoot. This is how this man actually talks. And then I thought... how does HE disguise HIS voice? does it become your average voice? It must! There is no possible way to go lower, so he must go higher and clearer which would be your average mans voice. I wonder. BUT i didnt ask, and I think we should all appreciate that.

Had a friend of mine ask me how "the whole... acting thing" is going for me. I said its going. Admittedly I havent been doing much, but i have been more concerned with the now than the eventual. Crazy things like... oh i dont know... rent. food. staying alive? He said OH! You should get yourself an agent! Only somebody who isnt in the business says that. Its not like picking up milk on the way home. You dont say, OH RIGHT! I should do that!... no, its a little harder. Its like saying, oh I need to get milk before I get home and then grabbing a three legged stool, a bucket, and warming up your hands. It takes a while. And like all the folks who say OH I KNOW THIS BIG SO AND SO... SHOULD I INTRODUCE YOU? YES GOD DAMNIT YES! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!?!?! I APPRECIATE THE HELP!!! I NEED THE HELP!!! Dont watch me drown and then ask if I want a floaty! THROW THE FUCKING LIFE RAFT!

Well it would appear that I have run out of kind things to chat about! I look forward to chatting with you again!

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