January 4 - Manly Man

Today we talk about men. Men, and what it is to be masculine... or what it is to be un masculine. The definition of a manly man has changed over the years. At one point it was the frilly bloused men of the french court, at another it was the bed-sheet-clad-boy-loving greeks, and of course the lowly, but built and sex starved, farmhand.

Today I was standing in a mall near 3 young twenty-something men, and at one point a girl came up to join them and offered one, who was clearly her beaux, what appeared to be a coffee cup. He asked what is was, and she said that it was the Caramel Apple Spice he asked her to get so they could share. He denied asking for that and suggested that she drink it. It seemed obvious, to me at least, that she hadnt ever really wanted the drink and had mostly gotten it for him. He, in the eyes of his friends, continued his protest and then left to purchase a strong black coffee. I thought it was funny that he would deny a drink. Was it because it sounded like something a young girl on a cold wintery day would order? I personally love that drink. Its the most affordable AND enjoyable drink at christmas time. I dont know why you would be embarrassed about a drink, and I guess thats what got me onto the subject of masculinity. What makes a person "Un masculine"? Is it the appreciation of Carmel, Apple, and Spice? My vote is NO.

I got an email from an ex of mine letting me know how to charge a car battery. I will be the first to say I know sweet fuck all about cars, but on this day it appeared that I knew what I was doing and that my mom seemed to proud, that this girl didnt seem to want to chime in with the right answer. I have, in my head, always called this girl "cosmo girl". I felt that she often did things according to cosmo magazine style advice. Let him appear to be the man of the house and try to charge the car... dont tell him how to... let him be masculine. I would much rather have a girl tell me how to do something right, than "look manly" and not get it done. I will however say that this girl gained various skills with advice from cosmo which, without getting too personal, far outweigh the bad advice. If I have to take the sadness of receiving the bad advice shes got to get the happiness of receiving the good advice shes got... I say bring on that bad advice and god bless you Cosmo. Being told what to do by a girl is Un Masculine? I vote no

I have been known for being a masculine guy that lives a fairly un masculine life. I am a mommas boy, I cant grow a beard! Unless you include the occasional random nipple hair, I have no chest hair to speak of! I know nothing about cars and have never even driven one. And sports? Oh holy hell! I know nothing about any sport, and I could ACTUALLY care less about them. I DO however love action movies, i have an unhealthy obsession with guns, I love politics, I enjoy cigars, I have... at a time... been a bit of a womanizer, and I like a cold beer. At the same time I like chick flicks, cigarette smoke makes me cough, a like home renovation (thats a split vote though folks) and oprah has made me cry.

So what makes somebody masculine? I dont know. What is Manly? I cant seem to figure it out. It seems like the only way to measure it is to compare it to things that are commonly seen as feminine, or uncommon for a man. The only issue with that is that in some point in history, that wasnt considered "unmanly". Dressing up as a woman? Some of the greatest shakespearean actors of the day walked the stage as beautiful women to great acclaim. Sex with men? Many of the strongest greek generals took male lovers and as you will see in some literature, preferred them. If I see a man in a pleated leather skirt chances are he is a little gay, but change it up a bit and picture a strong roman soldier in a pleated leather skirt off to fight the barbarian hoards... well... probably still a little bit gay.

But even the gay men of this world are manly. Have you seen Brokeback Mountain? That sex scene is manly! Not really my thing, but you have to at least agree that it is a masculine occurrence.

I will tell you right now, that this sentence you are reading is an edit. Originally this paragraph went on to say that the one thing that proves a lack of masculinity is a Feather Boa. Nobody has ever looked masculine with a feather boa... but I was wrong. Hulk Hogan has been using one for years and if a world famous wrestler cant pull off a manly look then who can... so thats out!

The only thing I can think of that is manly is hunting. The ability to raise a weapon and end the life of an animal is viewed by most to be quite manly. I view it as a lack of compassion and heart. Now if you are doing it to survive, thats different, but for sport? Well I just dont know what to say to you.

I suppose, in my mind, what is truly masculine is survival. The ability to provide. The caveman definition of finding food and shelter and surviving. So in life its survival... but in society? I dont know. Any ideas? Do share with me what you think. At the start of this I had a hope that I would come around to something good and poignant... turns out... nope!

Thanks for reading.